Once I thought I was at the end. The end of my endurance for being alive. I was sitting in the woods with a bottle of my mom's prescription meds in my hands giving myself a few final thoughts and moments of peace. A hand appeared on my shoulder and I flipped out. She appeared out of nowhere like a frikin ninja. She saw the pill bottle and I would bet anything that she understood everything completely but she didnt say anything. She sat down next to me and smiled. I still have no idea why she smiled but that confused my heart so much. I couldn't imagine being able to smile out of pure happiness like that and I knew at that moment that I wanted it. I wanted that sort of happiness. I asked her why she was so happy and she just told me : I'm alive. And you have a beautiful soul.
I was thinking what the fck? I mean that's kinda something a wackjob would say but it stuck with me and gives me confidence and self respect nothing and nobody else could give me. As the girl was leaving she said: promise me you won't give up.
She looked at where I had hidden my pill bottle knowingly. We did a spit shake and now to this day I have upheld that promise to that person who thought I was beautiful. To that person who cared. No matter how hard things have gotten. To her I am probably only a distant memory but to me she is always in my thoughts. My biggest regret in life right now is not catching her name. I have searched through too many yearbooks to count. I hope to meet my guardian angel again someday."